The New Laws of Male Fashion,
Well, our poor man, you have to admit that fashion and style didn’t become easier for them. With more quality available to men than ever before, there are also more pitfalls. To help men navigate their expanding fashion world, here are Esquire’s new laws of fashion.
- You wear clothes, not the other way around.
- Investing in quality often means investing in the things that you can’t see. Like the movement inside a mechanical watch, the full hand-canvassing in a jacket, or the hand-stitched uppers of your shoes.
- Blue jeans are good, dark blue jeans are better. Leave the boot cuts to cowgirls and black denim to ex-cons.
- Celebrities look good in clothes for two reasons: A) They’re famous. B) They have someone whose full-time job is to dress them. Don’t get discouraged. Get famous.
- You should dress for travel as if it were still a privilege. Start with a collared shirt and a tailored jacket. And if you can’t bear wearing proper shoes, low-key leather sneakers will do. Ditch the sweat pants, though. You’re not at the gym. How to break it: Flying private gives you sartorial carte blanche.
- A well made and properly kept shoe will last you three decades. When shopping for your feet, remember to invest in leather soles and uppers and Goodyear-worthy welts. Remember, too, that all-leather shoes are easier to rebuild. How to break it: If it’s obvious that your loafers are from the seventies, retire them.
- Wooden shoe trees are a good idea. But you need only one pair. Put them in the shoes you’ve been wearing all day. The shoe, warmed and wet from your body heat and respiration, will contract as it cools over the shape of the tree and return to its original form. Within an hour or two, the tree has done its job.
- Here are two ways you should store your tie: 1) Lay it flat in a drawer. 2) Roll it up like a Swiss roll by folding it once and then rolling it from the narrow end. Both methods allow the tie to settle and regain its shape overnight.
- Broaden your colour wheel. Colours that real men actually look good in, though they don’t realize it (one item of clothing at the time, please): pink, turquoise, and coral.
- It’s better to be overdressed than underdressed. Being thought eccentric for wearing a tux to a swim meet is preferable to wearing a T-shirt and jeans to a wedding.
- Buy the suit that fits, not the one you wish you could fit into. A suit that’s too tight will make you look fat. And while an oversized suit may seem more comfortable, in reality you’ll just look like a ten-year-old playing dress-up. In between the two is the suit that fits.
- Wet shoes should be dried in a warm place – near an oven, not in it. But be careful: Rapid drying can irreversibly crack the leather.
- “A well-tied tie is the first serious step in life.” OSCAR WILDE
- Short socks are for Englishmen and Italian bus drivers. You are neither.
- Never be rushed into purchasing uncomfortable shoes, no matter how shiny the leather. Beauty is not, at least in this case, pain.
- You tie’s tip should just reach your waistband.
- Never buy anything yellow. How to break it: Unless it’s a Lamborghini.
- A man should not shop for more clothes; he should shop for better clothes. How do you know what’s “better”? Look in your closet, decide which clothes make you walk the tallest, and then up the ante by purchasing only the threads that will have you walking even taller.
- Some colours are meant to be together, some or not.
- Your shirt collar fits properly if you can get just one finger between it and your neck. Any looser and you’ll look like Pipo the Clown.
- Nothing says “Jackass” quite as well as a cell/mobile phone on a belt clip. You know who you are.
- You don’t need to button every button. On a two-button suit, button only the top button. On a three button suit, button only the middle one. On a one-button suit, well, you don’t have much choice.
- When in doubt, well, ask Stephanie.
Well, our poor man, you have to admit that fashion and style didn’t become easier for them. With more quality available to men than ever before, there are also more pitfalls. To help men navigate their expanding fashion world, here are Esquire’s new laws of fashion.
- You wear clothes, not the other way around.
- Investing in quality often means investing in the things that you can’t see. Like the movement inside a mechanical watch, the full hand-canvassing in a jacket, or the hand-stitched uppers of your shoes.
- Blue jeans are good, dark blue jeans are better. Leave the boot cuts to cowgirls and black denim to ex-cons.
- Celebrities look good in clothes for two reasons: A) They’re famous. B) They have someone whose full-time job is to dress them. Don’t get discouraged. Get famous.
- You should dress for travel as if it were still a privilege. Start with a collared shirt and a tailored jacket. And if you can’t bear wearing proper shoes, low-key leather sneakers will do. Ditch the sweat pants, though. You’re not at the gym. How to break it: Flying private gives you sartorial carte blanche.
- A well made and properly kept shoe will last you three decades. When shopping for your feet, remember to invest in leather soles and uppers and Goodyear-worthy welts. Remember, too, that all-leather shoes are easier to rebuild. How to break it: If it’s obvious that your loafers are from the seventies, retire them.
- Wooden shoe trees are a good idea. But you need only one pair. Put them in the shoes you’ve been wearing all day. The shoe, warmed and wet from your body heat and respiration, will contract as it cools over the shape of the tree and return to its original form. Within an hour or two, the tree has done its job.
- Here are two ways you should store your tie: 1) Lay it flat in a drawer. 2) Roll it up like a Swiss roll by folding it once and then rolling it from the narrow end. Both methods allow the tie to settle and regain its shape overnight.
- Broaden your colour wheel. Colours that real men actually look good in, though they don’t realize it (one item of clothing at the time, please): pink, turquoise, and coral.
- It’s better to be overdressed than underdressed. Being thought eccentric for wearing a tux to a swim meet is preferable to wearing a T-shirt and jeans to a wedding.
- Buy the suit that fits, not the one you wish you could fit into. A suit that’s too tight will make you look fat. And while an oversized suit may seem more comfortable, in reality you’ll just look like a ten-year-old playing dress-up. In between the two is the suit that fits.
- Wet shoes should be dried in a warm place – near an oven, not in it. But be careful: Rapid drying can irreversibly crack the leather.
- “A well-tied tie is the first serious step in life.” OSCAR WILDE
- Short socks are for Englishmen and Italian bus drivers. You are neither.
- Never be rushed into purchasing uncomfortable shoes, no matter how shiny the leather. Beauty is not, at least in this case, pain.
- You tie’s tip should just reach your waistband.
- Never buy anything yellow. How to break it: Unless it’s a Lamborghini.
- A man should not shop for more clothes; he should shop for better clothes. How do you know what’s “better”? Look in your closet, decide which clothes make you walk the tallest, and then up the ante by purchasing only the threads that will have you walking even taller.
- Some colours are meant to be together, some or not.
- Your shirt collar fits properly if you can get just one finger between it and your neck. Any looser and you’ll look like Pipo the Clown.
- Nothing says “Jackass” quite as well as a cell/mobile phone on a belt clip. You know who you are.
- You don’t need to button every button. On a two-button suit, button only the top button. On a three button suit, button only the middle one. On a one-button suit, well, you don’t have much choice.
- When in doubt, well, ask Stephanie.
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